I started working out and taking steroids. Technically, that’s when I began living with substance use disorder, although I didn’t even realize it. However, it wouldn’t be long until my steroid use became a big problem.
I became a competitive body builder and was in the process of obtaining a Pro Card. My personality changed dramatically. I acted selfishly. I only cared about myself and wanted to be alone. I would spend all of my money on drugs and would do whatever it took to get my card. But that was never going to happen. I was arrested two weeks before getting my Pro Card by state police for intercepting packages of steroids. I began probation and mandated participation in an outpatient program at Bridge Back to Life.
It only took one day for me to realize that I had a problem. In jail, all alone, I thought about everything that led up to my arrest and knew that I never wanted to be in jail again. Bridge Back to Life offered a great program and provided me tools and resources to get and stay clean, but I also know that I played a huge part in my recovery. Today I am two and half years clean. The recovery process for me was hard at times and easier at others. Throughout, I knew that I wanted to focus my life on something other than drugs. I knew that I needed to be better. Once I faced facts, recovery became easier and easier as time went on. Then I moved forward. I would like everyone living with substance use disorder to know that no matter how far they are in their recovery, that they should never give up hope on themselves. There is no trick to getting better. It’s simple. It’s waking up and realizing that you have a problem--not because your friends or family members tell you that you have one, but because you realize that you have a problem and you want to get better. Then you will get better.